I miss Christianity.

I miss the friendship, the camaraderie, and the community. I miss feeling like I was part of something bigger than myself. I miss feeling like I belonged. I miss late nights with the best of friends. I miss talking about God, life, the universe, and everything else. I miss feeling like even at the worst of times I was being supported by something bigger than my problems. 

But I couldn’t figure out how to reconcile the two, so I had to let it go. And I know some people do, but I couldn’t. Sometimes it’s difficult, and I feel as if a part of myself were ripped away. But when I held on to both, the dissonance nearly tore me apart.

So I let my faith go. But I miss it sometimes.